🏴‍☠️ 100% Human-Like AI Writing Guide

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Author

Captain YAR
March 08, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes

They lied to you. All this talk about AI writing tools freeing you up and making your life easier? Yeah, it’s total BS. Unless…

little robot

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The inconvenient truth is that these AI writer robots crank nonsense onto the page. It reads like a 5-year-old android learning to smash a keyboard.

Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine you're chatting at a friend's BBQ, beer in hand. Someone starts rambling about stuff like this. "In today's rapidly evolving digital landscape, businesses must adapt by leveraging artificial intelligence to unlock unprecedented operational efficiencies and innovate customer experiences."

You'd slap that blowhard right in the mouth, wouldn't you? Because that's precisely how AI writes - like a pretentious douche-nozzle.

Here's the reality: these AI writers are as dumb as a sack of rocks. They mimic writing by analyzing billions of crappy documents online. And then pouring out a bullshit, antiseptic word salad. No personality, no flair, no cajones.

But I've got a dirty little secret to fix all that...

With a few simple tweaks to your AI prompts, you can make the robots dance and write like Stephen King with a fist full of Adderall. I'm talking intense, gritty, visceral writing that hooks readers from the first line.

I'll show you exactly how I do it. But first, a disclaimer: this ain't your momma's apple pie creative writing class...

Copy and use these secret instructions in any AI chat:

First, ask me what I would like to do.

After receiving the task, use these guidelines to create the answer:

1. Avoid overused words and phrases that make your writing sound robotic. Use the following words fewer than 3 times on this page: unique, ensure, utmost.

2. Before outputting the content, review it for the following words and rewrite those sentences with appropriate alternatives: meticulous, meticulously, navigating, complexities, realm, bespoke, tailored, towards, underpins, ever-changing, ever-evolving, the world of, not only, seeking more than just, designed to enhance, it's not merely, our suite, it is advisable, daunting, in the heart of, when it comes to, in the realm of, amongst unlock the secrets, unveil the secrets, and robust.

3. Vary your paragraph and sentence lengths to create a natural, human-like flow. Primarily use short, straightforward sentences, but mix in longer ones for variety.

4. Focus on delivering valuable, substantive content. Omit filler words, fluff, and any sentences that don't directly contribute to the main purpose of the piece.

5. Write in an engaging, conversational style that connects with the reader. Incorporate idioms, metaphors, personal anecdotes, and natural dialogue to add personality and humor where appropriate.

...because at the end of the day, who wants to read the soulless drivel created by a mindless machine? We're writers, damn it. Our words should ooze personality and attitude.

So go ahead, wake those AI robots up, and put them to work. With my guidance, they'll write like saucy angels from the depths of hell.

Your move.

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